I have been a social worker for nearly two decades – ten years working within child welfare, children’s mental health and as a medical social worker respectively; and a subsequent ten years as trainer and consultant in the areas of employee well-being within the social services (including topics such as compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, work-life balance, care for the caregiver, workplace wellness, etc.).  I have grown to believe that we must begin to articulate the health, well-being and self-care of social workers as an ethical imperative.

Yes, it is true that all members of society benefit from having a healthy lifestyle. Our health care systems benefit from the collective results of individuals choosing to take good care of themselves in preventative ways, and so forth.  What is true for social workers (as well as other helpers and healers) is that who we are, how we are doing, our emotional, physical, and psychological health creates the foundation for and efficacy of our work in the world. 

My father worked at Ford Motor Company for nearly 35 years before he retired.  It did not overly matter if he was emotionally and psychologically healthy to do his job.  As long as he punched in on the time clock, did his work, didn’t cause any trouble – he met his occupational requirements.  His mental health really was of know concern to his employer – if he was stressed out, overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, burnt out - these aspects of his person were not pre-requisites to getting his particular job done (pushing a 4 digit paint colour code, while standing in a paint booth alone).  However, as a social worker, we are the tools of our trade.  Our ability to make clear decisions, think, care, engage empathy and so forth are directly related to our parallel abilities to manage stress, seek support, and stay healthy on all levels – in other words our health and well-being has a direct relationship on getting our jobs done.  In other words, staying healthy is also part of our work.

This being said, while an individual social worker is responsible for taking care of him or herself – there is also an ethical imperative for employers, professional associations, and schools of social work to be attentive, responsive and proactive partners in helping social workers to cultivate personal and professional well-being.  What are some examples you have of how your workplace, professional association, or within your educational experience…where your health and well-being was considered important and supported?

Fill in the blank: The reason most people site for neglecting self-care is they… “do not have enough ______”!

Time.

We all have 24 hours in a day and the bottom line is we choose with intention, design, and vision what we do with it. Sometimes you might savour time, race the clock, waste time, ignore time – we are all in some sort of relationship with time. Making time for self-care is just like making time for anything else that really matters to you, interests you, and supports you to live well. We are often more successful at getting to things that are part of our routine or in other words are a simply a habit. We brush our teeth, load the laundry, eat, pick up groceries, call a friend, check our email, and so forth in a large part because they are habits and we do them again and again.

Here are five tips for making your self-care a habit:

1. Schedule self-care dates – block off time in your schedule for your self-care activities (7:00 am – ½ hour fitness walk, 12:00 pm – lunch break, 9:30 pm – write in my journal, etc.) – putting it in time makes it real.

2. Choose self-care activities you really love – we are more likely to do something we like than something we are dragging ourselves into. It’s ok to love what you love.

3. Create a buddy system – there are reasons people have exercise buddies – it works. Develop a buddy system for some of your self-care activities (a colleague you walk with at lunch, a meditation group you attend, etc.) so that you can develop mutual support, championing and accountability with one another.

4. Decide your self-care is not optional – we will easily abandon things that are optional. Decide your self-care is a priority and then keep this commitment to yourself. Don’t be tossed away.

 5. Give yourself permission to show up on your own behalf – where are you being called to a bigger “Yes” when it comes to caring for and nurturing yourself in mind, body, heart and spirit? Allow yourself to say “Yes”.

Most have us have heard that it takes 28 days to form a habit – to creating the self-care habit in your life.

There are many books written on how to find love, how to keep love, how to heal after losing love…perhaps of equal value is how do you give love?  Today is Valentine’s Day and I am thinking of all the ways I give and receive love, including self-love.  What does it mean to truly love ourselves?  How does self-love create the foundation for loving others?  How does love teach, heal, support, inspire?  How does love create peace?  What is loving kindness? Love, love, love.  To all the ways you give and receive love.

I am participating in a virtual retreat this week-end with Jennifer Louden, author of the Woman’s Retreat Book and host of the “Refresh, Reawaken, and Rediscover Yourself in Ways that Really Work” retreat.  I read once that a retreat is an advance.

I integrate retreats into my life on a regular basis as one of my most favourite ways to replenish, create, and renew in mind, body, heart and spirit.  Retreat simply means to step away from the ordinary and to show up with an open and curious mind to what is available and present in the moment.  You can participate in an organized retreat (there are many programs and locations worldwide – one of my favourite places to go is Hollyhock on Cortes Island – www.hollyhock.ca) or you can create your own retreat (I create mini-retreats for myself once a month).

Mini Retreats are simply designated times where I step away from it all…turn off the computer, cell phone, and any other distraction, bring along my journal, some markers, paints, and a favourite book filled with exercises for self-reflection and self-discovery (SARK’s books are among my favourite – with titles like The Bodacious Book of Succulence – they are fun retreat companions).  I retreat to the window box of my studio office, or I take a blanket and find a patch of grass under a cedar tree in Ruckle Park, I rent a hotel room in Victoria for the night, I go outside on our deck and close the door behind me, I visit a funky coffee shop and retreat there.  You can retreat anywhere – the point is to designate space and time for retreating and simply get creative and have fun deciding where you want to go and what you want to do (or not do as the case might be).  

I can always count on a retreat (whether it is an hour or a week-end in the length) to provide me with the following: relaxation, stress reduction, greater clarity, new ideas or ways of looking at something, and an overwhelming feeling of self-acceptance and inner peace.  It’s amazing what a little dedicated solitary time devoted to self reflection and reconnecting with your self can bring your way.   

I strongly believe in the power of retreats to support both well-being and renewal.  How do you retreat? Feel welcome to share your story here!

I know a lot of helpers – my mother, my aunts, many of my best girlfriends, Peter (my husband), Jennifer (my neighbour), countless social work colleagues, coaching colleagues, my cousin’s wife Julie (she is an RN and mental health counsellor), Pat (she is a psychologist) - some are helping professionals, well trained and educated to be in service to the health, well-being and growth of others.  While some, like my Mom, simply live their lives giving, caring, nurturing, sacrificing, and tending to the needs of others.  

Where does the desire to help others come from?  What plants the seeds of care, concern and commitment for the welfare of fellow human beings?  It is a gift to give part of who you are – your care, your kindness, your presence, your listening, your compassion, your non-judgment, and your genuine regard for someone in need of all of the above. This is the heart of helping.

I’d love to hear from you.  What is precious about helping others?  What comes alive in you when you are helping? How do you know you are experiencing “compassion satisfaction”? Thank you for all the caring you do.